I paid for Hinge… it worked

I folded. I paid for Hinge. Desperate for someone to be with and something to write, I swallowed my pride and put my bank details into a dating app. With one click, I joined the massed ranks of beta-males, chuds, and layabouts who, dying of thirst in the digital desert, are willing to pay £50 a month for the mirage of a romantic oasis. Although common wisdom is that this is a scam, could I buck the trend?

Despite the gloom surrounding paying for dating apps, if anyone was to benefit, it would be me. Given I could write this off as an expense (yes, taxpayer, you will be footing this bill), I went for Hinge’s elite X option. This allows you unlimited likes (the default is only 8 a day), special preferences to search for, including height, the ability to see everyone who likes you, and a sense of mild shame. The real benefit of the X package is that your likes go straight to the top of the recipient’s list of admirers and stay there, while normal users sink into the bottomless pit of male desire.